Sex: not a childhood memory

There are people in this world who believe that sex should be a childhood memory. Even though these people are in the minority, the damage done affects everything from the child, to their society, and eventually the entire country.

I’ve been in several countries talking to government officials and they have told me childhood sexual abuse has eroded their society. It has brought shame upon the leaders of their country; shame has the power of not only crippling a person but also a country. (Explanation-there are two kinds of shame: Legitimate and illegitimate. Legitimate shame exposes sin and leads to repentance. Illegitimate shame is a wound to the ego/pride and leads to contempt: self-contempt or other centered contempt.)

pSo to reiterate, illegitimate shame has the power of not only crippling a person but also a country. What I mean by crippled is, an individual is unable to relate to others in a healthy way. Then if it’s a country, it cripples the leaders of the country to relate to the citizens in a healthy way. Everyone is ashamed of the abuse: the abuser, the victim, the leaders and any other individual who is aware of the abuse.   The power of illegitimate shame destroys the ability to create a healthy system to stop the abuse because every individual involved is ashamed and not communicating effectively.

In contrast, the power of legitimate shame would result in individuals repenting, seeking forgiveness, and experiencing reconciliation. When the power of repentance happens on a personal and national level, sexual abuse restores honest communication, and the ability to seek effective solutions which are absent from contempt and bring healing.